Tomorrows’ Sunshine.

For the sake of memories. For the sake of being able to scream, and daily, confess the love for the blessings of being a mom.


For as long as I can remember, I wasn’t a celebrated child. I didn’t have birthday parties, every year, nor had one because I meant a lot to someone. I had a couple that i recall; for the sake of photos that’ll eventually find its way to my adopted father, elsewhere in the world. I wasn’t treasured, the way you treasure someone, with tangible memories like photographs, or letters, or daily blogs of confessions about how much they are loved and cared for.

I celebrated everyone’s birthday, sang for them, showed up for them, and made them feel special. But the birthdays that were mine can be counted in one hand for the times anyone cared enough to feel special. 

I wasn’t fussed over. I wasn’t valued. I wasn’t worth enough, for anyone to claim me. I wasn’t enough, for someone to ‘keep’ me. No one cried for me. No one hurt for me. No one would have given their life for me, the way you do when you love someone so much.

Because of this…

I am one of those individuals, who flood your Facebook news feed, instagram, twitter, and tumblr, of photographs, status’, notes, and shared articles about my children; about having children; about being a mom; about the struggle of being a parent; about the chaos of marriage, and everything in between. I AM THAT INDIVIDUAL, because I want to be able to look back at the memories I’ve built with my family. I want my children to be able to find these memories when they’ve grown, and one day they’ll wonder what, who, how, why, they are who they are. It isn’t merely for the sake of bombarding others, or attempting to show I’m better than anyone, or that my family values are better than yours. I do this for me. I do this for the legacy of my family . I do this so that my children will remember to value what is most important in our family, each other. I do this so that they remember what it means to fight for those you love, to always give heart, to always be humble, to find meaning in real life, and so much more.

One day my children will have questions. One day they’ll wonder about all sorts, one day these memories will become reminders, it may bring us together when time is distant, or when our minds have found heart elsewhere. It will rekindle deeper appreciation for one another when that is lost or forgotten, it may be a light that helps redefine relationships in each of our lives, maybe it’ll help recall values, or find comfort, bring smiles, provide happy tears, but one thing for certain, it will always bind us together, always and forever.

  One thought on “Tomorrows’ Sunshine.

  1. April 1, 2017 at 12:20 am

    We too take pictures every now and then

    Liked by 1 person

  2. March 31, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    I am sorry to hear you were never celebrated or had a birthday party. I believe all children should have those memories. I recently asked my husband when was the last time he had a birthday party. We have been together since we was 13 and he has not had one the whole time we have been together he is 22 now. He said he couldn’t remember when he last had a party or if he ever had. Well this year he will have an amazing party to celebrate him. That is the one thing my family always made sure I had was a party. My brothers had a few and cousins had a few but I always had one each year. I just love parties and bringing everyone together to spend time together. It is so very important to create lasting memories with your children. I an happy you are doing so.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. March 29, 2017 at 9:55 am

    I love the committment you have to creating real memories for your children. You have taken your experiences and used them as a tool to be a better mom. Your children are incredibly lucky to have you. They are going to grow up to be amazing individuals. Good Job Mama, you are doing so many things right! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 29, 2017 at 10:05 am

      Thank you so much! I only hope they do grow up to be amazing human beings. Thats all i ask for as their mom. To be good people, to themselves and others. To be kind. To be respectful. All moms give their heart and their kids definitely become better people for that! Now I’m crying. Lol

      Like

  4. March 27, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    I love your honesty! It makes me feel incredibly sad that you grew up this way, but when you look at the outcome-such a doting and caring Mother, to put so much importance on cherishing these memories-it’s really a beautiful thing

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 27, 2017 at 10:41 pm

      Thank you for your kind words 😢.. I know that the experiences I had as a child made me really appreciate being a mother and having babies to love with all of me!

      Like

  5. March 27, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    My husband says he doesn’t remember his mother ever making him a cake for his birthday. No parties or celebration. He was a bit overwhelmed coming into my family who makes a huge deal of birthdays, and photos, photos, photos! He jumped right on board, though, because he didn’t want our kids to feel like he did. I take too many pictures, and then actually print them out and put them in albums. For me, and for them when they are all grown up. I’m sorry you had to feel like that as a child. It looks like you are living by what my husband says all the time – that he’ll be a good parent by doing the opposite of what he had, instead of repeating the past.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 27, 2017 at 12:51 pm

      There was so much that happened to me as a child. I try to remember but most of what ive managed not to forget are the bad memories. I spent a lot of time as a child wondering why I couldn’t be like other children who were loved. What was wrong with me? I hated myself for not being enough for someone..and now as an adult, i still sometimes feel like I’m not good enough so i make sure that all of me is poured into my children. That they feel so loved they hate me for it. That they never feel an ounce of how i felt. That everyday they see and know that someone cares. For all the moments they feel alone, I am always there. I can’t change the past to make people love me..but I can however help contribute to my future and the ones who depend on me. Its the only thing I got to write the rest of my life story.

      Like

  6. March 27, 2017 at 4:08 am

    I don’t have many happy memories from my childhood, and I am not in touch with my family. It’s so important for me to build my own memories with my little family and share them with other people. I feel like I’ve made such a lovely family unit and I want to share it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 27, 2017 at 12:53 pm

      Ugh this must be hard at times for you! I know it is for me. Building memories of our own is so crucial for the rest of our lives because it hasn’t ended for us, yet. Yes! You’ve made a beautiful and lovely family! You did! And thats all that counts when all is said and done.

      Like

  7. Kim Amy
    March 26, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    it sounds like you are creating great memories even without the posts and pictures. The love it what they will remember the most.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. March 26, 2017 at 8:24 pm

    Mommy this is awesome. But believe me when i say – this will not be the top of the list of things they ll cherish. It ll be on there for dure but no where bear the top. You know why? Because the list will have dooo many other things on it as to why you are a soecial mommy! Even after everything that you ve been through, you are soectacular! And your children will know that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 26, 2017 at 11:44 pm

      Thank you so much for those kind words. I know these photographs are a small part of their memories. But they do capture moments that can help them recall those moments. I hope they always know how loved and treasured they are!

      Like

  9. March 26, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    What a beautiful post. I’m sorry that it came from such a hard struggle but your children will so appreciate this!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. kayla8642
    March 26, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    Sounds like you are going to have many wonderful memories to look back on as a family! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. March 26, 2017 at 5:46 am

    Your doing it for all the right reasons. Your kids will sure appreciate it and your a great mom!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. March 26, 2017 at 4:01 am

    You sound like a wonderful parent! I’m so sorry for what you experienced, but learning from it and making sure your children never have to go through that is so great! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 26, 2017 at 4:06 am

      Thank you, you’re kind! I think my life’s purpose as a mom is just to love more because i didnt have much of it growing up.

      Like

  13. March 26, 2017 at 3:04 am

    Sharing is great, but having the memories to look back on is even better. My husband picks on me for taking so many pictures, but I know we will be thankful for them when we are older. Keep up the great work!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. March 26, 2017 at 2:58 am

    I think it is so important to take lots of pictures! (And actually care for them too, of course.) That’s the only thing they’ll have to look back on one day besides memories and, sadly, even those will eventually fade.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. March 25, 2017 at 11:59 pm

    My husband was brought up this way. His mom went through the same thing.
    It is SO important to let your kids know the smallest things matter and that they should be celebrated.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 26, 2017 at 1:33 am

      I pour all of me into them..so they’d never feel that kind of heart break from me.

      Like

  16. March 25, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    This is a beautiful post. I’m sorry that you had to struggle with so much as a child, but I’m so happy that you now have a wonderful family that you can make all these happy memories with! I also take tons of photos so that my son (and any future children) can see how much I love them and how important they are to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 25, 2017 at 9:05 pm

      These memories, they become treasures they keep, tangible memories to share in the future. Thanks for reading! I’m so glad this is a ‘mom thing’ lol

      Like

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