Don’t cry for me

It seems that throughout the years, with all the half-wits of life, I’ve managed to stop feeling. Like I mean, just feeling emotions in general. It wasn’t until I buried myself on Netflix watching all ten seasons of ‘Greys Anatomy’ that tears, real heartfelt tears, would stream down my face like it does whenever I recall that part in ‘My Bestfriends Wedding’. You know the one where she confesses her feelings, and it didn’t go the way she wanted it to, and they go on this three-way chase, and she ends up being called worst than the fungi that grows on scum?!

I can’t exactly pin-point when, or where this cold feeling began. But ‘crying has never been my thing’. It shows too much vulnerability. When you show even the slightest bit of vulnerability, you end up looking weak. When you’re weak, you’re irrational, when you’re irrational, you look like a fool. When you look like a fool, the meaning in your life at that particular moment disappears, and well. .there goes a chip at who you are. Gone. Just gone. You don’t get it back.

While the whole world cries to Adele’s latest hit, and Gwen Stefani’s used to love you crap, I’m over here like…what feels?

These days, I can’t categorize anything. I’m usually good at that stuff. Then again, I’ve had a lot; been chipped off me. Then it gets tough to relate to anything. You kinda lose yourself. When you lose yourself, it gets hard to rebuild, coz you don’t know where to start.

 

xo, MM

 

 

Repost from Tumblr – December 7, 2015

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