twentyseven, counts

What I know now is that, people don’t last in relationships. Not in this lifetime, not in the next. I know that people choose to stay, but that sometimes break because, the heart only cares for so much, and so long. I know that love doesn’t always mean to stay, or to keep going. I know that love is sometimes, just for a season, a moment, a picture, a smile, a day, a reason, but never a lifetime.

When I was young, I had no idea what it meant to care for someone. I didn’t know what it meant to be a friend. I didn’t know what it meant to love someone.

I took pride; like I knew what love was, in the things that mattered, just for the instances that they lasted.

I watched time, people, things, pass. I’d sit by the bus stop and catch buses pass me, glances pass me, voices pass me.

In this sadness dwell the purest definition of loss, of fear, of screams, of needing someone, of hoping for someone. Seasons have passed me, days have become years, and I stood the same, I felt the same, I cried about the same thing.

I wanna tear myself up, scrape the sadness, scrape the insecurities, scrape the fears, take the sadness, and burn it. I wanna cry for the last time, and never again. Not for the sadness that dwell, ever again.

Today, Yesterday, and maybe Tomorrow shall pass, and the day after, I wont feel so numb no more.

As comfortable and romantic as it felt to walk alone, to see things, and find meaning; to ride on instances of wander, to wonder with no destination, I want no more of it.

I wanna move on.

You don’t belong here anymore.

I was never yours. I don’t want you anymore.

 

xo, MM

 

Repost from Tumblr – December 13, 2015

  One thought on “twentyseven, counts

  1. March 26, 2017 at 3:26 pm

    What a powerful post. Thank you so much for sharing. You are indeed very strong and you will move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. March 25, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    This was a very open and vulnerable post! It’s amazing how sometimes writing about things can help us through them.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. March 25, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    I love how raw you can get in your posts. It makes your writing so authentic (and not boring 😉 ). I hope that as you feel such deep emotions, letting them out helps you to sort out and overcome. Another great read!

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 25, 2017 at 4:25 pm

      Thank you so much for being so kind! It isn’t always easy to share the most personal feelings I have..but it makes me feel better knowing there are readers like you. My intent for my blog is to share the truth I struggle with or find joy in. It isn’t a blog to promote esthetic or to bring a specific crowd. It is to share my journey and to allow others to relate and to take from it in exactly the way it is. My blog has been the outlet I needed to be able to see outside of the things I’m going through. It helps! Thank you again for your honesty. I hope you stay a while and continue to give your two cents in. 😊

      Like

  4. March 25, 2017 at 6:03 am

    Aww this a great read! Very emotional and heartfelt!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. March 24, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    What a moving & emotional article! It takes courage and strength to make these deep realizations and move on. It’s not always simple to try and pick up all the pieces left behind sadness. I trust in the Lord, for only He can fulfill my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 24, 2017 at 8:30 pm

      Thank you. I feel like this was hard to share. It shows my vulnerability and its not always easy to share. I was afraid to share it with bloggers of higher standards. But thank you for reading it and sharing your thoughts! I second the last part of your comment. I find comfort in that! xo

      Like

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