My Open Letter to Apollo

My Sweet Baby Boy,

I have been trying to find the words to tell you how sorry I am. Sorry for this season of your life that feels so sad, cloudy and unfair. Sorry that you have to shield your emotions from me, so that it wouldn’t contribute to more thoughts that linger in my head and overwhelms me with guilt. Sorry that you feel powerless through my illness. Sorry that you’re the sponge for my ever changing moods.

In the midst of all of this, I want you to know that while in these moments it feels otherwise, I LOVE YOU. I love you always, no matter how it seems. I want you to know that when it feels like im distant, my heart knows nothing than to love you from afar. I want you to know that in the midst of the chaos that effects you the most, I will always find you and save you, the best I can even if you don’t see it or notice it. I want you to know that in the moments when you tell me your heartaches, I am fighting with you through them. I am fighting for you! I am! I want you to know that it won’t be like this, forever. I want you to know that for every inch you drift, I am holding on with all my might! I want you to know that for every hard breath I take in the moments I feel so lost, that you are my reason. I want you to know that you give me strength. I want you to know that you are what saves me! Time and time again, you save me!

Though it feels less than it should, I love you so much! Always & Forever. I will always be here for you, no matter the season, reason, instances, or moments.

Love, Mom.
MM, out!

  One thought on “My Open Letter to Apollo

  1. Pingback: I,Mommy
  2. April 27, 2017 at 9:42 pm

    Such a beautiful letter… mamahood is hard… beautifully said. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. April 27, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    I love how honest and open you are in this letter. It’s clear you love your son so much

    Liked by 1 person

  4. April 27, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    Such a precious letter!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lauren Becker
    April 27, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    This is a beautiful letter. Thanks for sharing it here – I’m sure many parents can relate.

    -Lauren
    http://www.shootingstarsmag.net

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sienna
    April 27, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    Awww that’s so sweet. Thank you for putting yourself out there like that and sharing with us! Stay strong!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. April 27, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    this was so touching, I’m really moved ❤ everything falls back into place eventually

    Liked by 1 person

  8. robinklloyd
    April 18, 2017 at 7:22 pm

    Thank you for sharing your heart and baring your soul, you are going to help so many other mommies! I am so thankful for your friendship and encouragement! Ps…you’ve officially been nominated for the Blogger Recognition Award!
    http://www.themamaplaybook.com/2017/04/18/blogger-recognition-award/

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 19, 2017 at 8:12 pm

      Thank you so much! Your support and friendship has helped me since I began engaging more in the blogging world. Your kindness has always eased the terrible feeling I’ve constantly nagged with. I love reading your posts, always capturing. Omg thank you so much for nominating me! Stephanie posted hers.. and i loved it. Gonna need to find time to sit and write this. What an honour. Thanks Robin! ❤

      Like

  9. Amy
    April 18, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    Wow, what a raw and beautiful letter! Parenting is hard and made even harder when we are struggling. I wish you all the best as you work through things. Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

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